Grim Mother’s Day in the mental hospital

Yemen Observer: http://www.yobserver.com

Grim Mother’s Day in the mental hospital

Posted in: News Varieties
Written By: Sausan al-Jawfi & Eman al-Jarady
Article Date: Mar 25, 2008 - 2:42:49 AM

These women have been deserted by their families and they now live permanently at Al-Amal Hospital. The name means ‘hope’ in Arabic, but this is in short supply for these poor souls.

The earliest Mother’s Day celebrations can be traced back to ancient Greece where celebrations were held in honor of Rhea, the mother of the gods. During the 1600’s, England celebrated a day called “Mothering Sunday” on the fourth Sunday of Lent, the 40 day period leading up to the Christian holiday of Easter. Mothering Sunday also began a celebration of all mothers, not just mythological ones.

During this time, many of England’s poor worked as servants for the wealthy and since most jobs were located far from their homes, many servants would simply live at the houses of their employers. Mothering Sunday was a day off granted to the servants to return home to spend with their mothers. A special cake, called the mothering cake, was often brought along to provide a festive touch.

However, times have greatly changed in the modern world and Mothering Sunday gradually changed in Britain to take the name and character of American Mother’s Day with little resemblance to the original meaning of Mothering Sunday.

Many children and their mothers now celebrate this new Mother’s Day all over the world. However, as joyous as time may be between a mother and her children, there are some families who cannot share in the celebration of this special day. Yemen’s mental hospitals are bursting at the seams with mothers unable to be with their families.

These women suffer from mental diseases because of their difficulties in life and are committed to these hospitals against their will, whilst their family struggles on without them. Most distressingly, some prefer this life to family life.

Many of the patients in the al-Amal Mental Hospital are unaware of the outside world and are bound in metaphorical iron chains. Umm Jamal, a woman is in her sixties, has been living in this hospital for ten years. She first lived in an assisted-living center, but shortly after she moved to the hospital, which she favored. She says she prefers that her condition is not a burden on her only son’s life and family, yet she feels how hard it is to be apart from them. There are people in the hospital that can take care of Umm Jamal and provide her with her needs. Her son and his family made it clear that they could not continue to provide for her. Since entering the hospital ten years ago, Umm Jamal has not been back to see her son nor her grandchildren. Her family refuses to take care of her, or provide the life and comfort that she afforded them for many years.

Umm Jamal’s son needs to take care of himself now. “I want him to be in good health and live a comfortable life.” After a moment of silence she said that a few years ago he came to her asking for ten Yemeni riyals. She refused, saying that she just wants him to leave her alone; her heart is not able to endure all this sadness and sorrow. All Umm Jamal can do for her son now is pray.

Umm Ahmed, another resident of the same hospital, suffers from schizophrenia. She is in her fifties and has five children who visit her every two or three months. When she was asked what she needs from her children, she said “please try to convince my children to let me live with them, instead of with the strangers in the hospital.”

“I have been married twice. I do not know any thing about my children from the first husband, but my children from the second husband visit me,” another patient, Umm Abdullah, remembers. Umm Abdullah is 45 years old and left her house five years ago to live at the hospital. She says that it is very different from her home and the life that she used to live. She does not care about Mother’s Day now, but cares more about her children’s lives. She wants them to live comfortably.

Umm Abdullah is like any other mother and want to live with her sons and feel the kindness and love of a family, but it is very difficult for her to achieve this. When she was asked if she wants to live with her children she replied, “Who will ask me to live with them? No one wants me to live in their house; they want to live their own lives.”

What Umm Mohammed wants is for her 14 year old son to grow up quickly to take care of her and his siblings. She wants her son to take her home from this place to see her daughters. She hopes that one day she will be able to raise her daughters without the oppression that she faces from her husband.
Children eventually grow up and begin their own lives. They have wives and children, yet they ignore their mothers and the hardships they suffered while raising them. Sometimes, they put them in mental hospitals or nursing homes. They forget that these mothers do not abandon them in their thoughts and one day the children will face the same tribulations in their own families. Mothers do not forget their children and cannot be angry at them. They just pray for their children to live happy lives.

“When people come to the hospital, at first they struggle to adapt to the new life, but soon they get used to it,” said Reem al-Rashedi, a nurse at the al-Amal Hospital. She has been working in this field for more than eight years and is sad because of what she sees in the hospital. She said that there are many sick people who come to the hospital because the justice and mistreatment that they face in their lives leaves them helpless.